Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
