so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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