K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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