I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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