wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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