I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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