Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
