you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
