Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
