watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize