She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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