Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
