I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
