Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
