I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
