dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I want is dick and wine.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
