I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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