I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
