Soap is not a condiment
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
