wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
