How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
