i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
