R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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