everyone is single if you try hard enough
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
