At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
