Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
