Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
