you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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