brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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