We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
