Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
