i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
