Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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