I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
