i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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