there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just invented taco cereal.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
