We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
there is glitter all over my balls
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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