the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
