omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I smell stomach acid.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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