Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
