Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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