so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
