and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
