honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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