I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize