She said her name was "party"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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