I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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