Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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