For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Who died my cat blue again?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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