On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
