I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize