Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
