my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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