just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
