I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
