There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
