You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
