In the future we'll all be gay
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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