So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
