i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
