it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
