i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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