you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
